It’s all about taking the easy way out for you, I suppose.

I love the feeling of anticipation. Wait wait wait, I mean, I HATE the feeling of being let down, and disappointment. And I know damn well there’s no reason really for holding grudges against anyone in particular, and no this is not about you.

Every time I try to explain someone the fact that I don’t really get excited about anything at all, and I don’t expect anything from anyone, I get this feeling that people judge me as a person who has no expectations and a person who is very negative. The thing is that the feeling of being let down, especially when it’s for reasons beyond your own control, is one of the hardest things for me to go through, and I can’t help but to get upset.

I think the only thing that kills me even more is when other people just don’t give a damn about it and act as if it wasn’t a big deal. And then again, I have no control over that, and I can’t help but being mad at myself for once again getting my hopes all high.